Making your Chartered Accountant hate you is not a sport we recommend getting into. It’s risky and expensive but if you really want to give it a go then here’s a few pointers to get you started on the road to divorcing your Accountant:
- Tell them it’s all in Xero. Chartered Accountants have this ignorant little comment thrown at them regularly and at some point it’ll be enough to drive one of them wild, feral and completely out of control. Believe us when we say, it’s not all in Xero. What you do in Xero is called Book keeping, not Accounting.
- Don’t give them everything they need. Not giving your accountant everything they need is like hiding a chefs key ingredients halfway though making a meal. A sure fire way to hack off your accountant is to give them your information with the ACC invoices and a few bank statements missing.
- Argue with your Accountant that you can claim something because your mates cousins auntie said you can. See how stupid this argument is? It’s like telling the Police it’s okay to speed because your mate said so.
- File your Personal Tax Summary before your Chartered Accountant’s done your books. (A Personal Tax Summary is that bit of paper the IRD sends you at the end of the year showing your wages and by filing it incorrectly you’ll be committing a criminal offence and missing out on tax deductions.)
- Don’t take your Accountants advice and then act gob-smacked when nothing changes or you end up in an even worse mess. Like Einstein said, doing the same thing and expecting different results is insanity.
- Believe that because you’re small your Accounting fees will be small. These two are not related. We often find that the smallest businesses are the messiest chewing up more accounting time. Annual accounting is heavily compliance focused which means that the same tests and checks apply to everyone. Just like getting a WOF for your car, a $104,000 Range Rover Evoque will fly through it’s warrant but that aging $500 Toyota Starlet will probably be back for round two (taking up twice as much time).
- Pay for lots of business expenses from personal bank accounts. Business-only bank accounts are the only way to go unless you’re happy to pay copious amounts to have this stuff recorded properly and to take on the IRD with a Voluntary Disclosure to fix your GST returns.
- Pay yourself PAYE wages or buy accounting software without consulting your Chartered Accountant.
Take ages to reply to your Accountants emails. Yeah, we’ve talked about this before. It’s uncool. So is sending them a million emails and not expecting to pay for their time. Enough said.